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Hit List (humor)

After every survey, engine surveyors fill out a form called a Hit List, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the vessel during the survey and sea trial that need repair or correction.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form as to what remedial action was taken. The boat buyer reviews the hit lists sheets before purchase.

Never let it be said that boat mechanics lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance and or repair recommendations submitted by surveyors and the solution recorded by yard crews.

(P = The problem logged by the surveyor.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanic.)

P: Left prop almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left prop.

P: Sea trial OK, except autopilot not working.
S: Autopilot not installed on this vessel.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs in bilge
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Engine synchronizer won't engage
S: Cannot reproduce problem in dry dock.

P: Evidence of hydraulic leak in steering.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Ship to shore volume unbelievably loud.
S: Ship to shore volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: Radar inoperative.
S: Radar always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Port engine missing.
S: Engine found in left side of engine room after brief search.
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